Oceanic Ordeal
by greenspider2026
Summary: As if a thinking ship beneath a collasping brigde in the middle of the ocean isn't difficult enough, the boys from IR get opposition from an unexpected quarter
1. Chapter 1

**(Disclaimer: All Thunderbirds characters are the property of ITC and licensed by Carlton International Inc.; all rights reserved.)**

I would like to thank the cousins Ann, Ellie-Beth and GillyLee for taking a helpless writer under their wings.

**(We are Family. That song is the property of Sister Sledge.)**

BETAREADER: NO SINGING!! FOR GOSSAKE NO SINGING!!!

AUTHOR: No singing?

BETAREADER: No singing, please!!!

AUTHOR: Oh OK.

Thanks to BETAREADER. She has had a crucial part in this.

Thanks to GillyLee for her encouragement and the forwarding of the kind reactions from the other members of the SSWOR ring.

Thanks again to GillyLee for writing the summary. (But you forgot to spell check it, honey.)

Thanks to Alexander Graham Bell for inventing the telephone.

Thanks to Bill Gates for developing Windows.

Thanks to those persons unknown for developing the modem.

And finally thanks to my parents for………

BETAREADER: AUTHOR, hey AUTHOR! AAAUUUTHOOOORRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AUTHOR: Yes BETAREADER?

BETAREADER: Cut it out, you haven't been awarded the Nobel Prize for literature! It's just a fanfic. Let those people over here read the story. That's what they want, not a resume on the worlds greatest inventions.

AUTHOR: Oh! OK!! 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Oceanic Ordeal.

BETAREADER: I still think this title sucks btw.

AUTHOR: Hush!! 

**The five Tracy brothers were sitting in the lounge waiting for the things that could………**

****

****

BETAREADER: AUTHOR, hey AUTHOR! AAAUUUTHOOOORRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AUTHOR: Yes BETAREADER?

BETAREADER: How come there five of them waiting in the lounge?

AUTHOR: What do you mean?

BETAREADER: Shouldn't there be someone up in TB5?

AUTHOR: Why?

BETAREADER: To monitor and alert the Base if there's an emergency somewhere.

The five Tracy brothers: We don't mind being together for once.

AUTHOR: See??

BETAREADER: Yes, but is the space station automated then?

AUTHOR: I don't know. John?

JOHN TRACY: Yes?

AUTHOR: Is the space station automated? What do you think?

JOHN TRACY: I don't think.

AUTHOR: Huh?

JOHN TRACY: I think only what you write.

AUTHOR: Oh!

"Guys, I've got a call for help." Said John.

BETAREADER: AUTHOR, hey AUTHOR!

AUTHOR: Yes?

BETAREADER: Is John psychic or something?

AUTHOR: What do you mean?

BETAREADER: Well, he's sitting in the lounge with his brothers and suddenly he knows that there are people in trouble.

AUTHOR: No, he's in the space station.

BETAREADER: No, look at the first sentence of this story; The five Tracy brothers were sitting in the lounge………

AUTHOR: Yes, but you said I had to put one of them in the space station.

BETAREADER: I repeat, it reads; The five Tracy brothers were sitting in the lounge………

AUTHOR: Oh that, I got to change that sentence yet.

BETAREADER: Ah, and when are you going to do that? Before or after you post it?

AUTHOR: Now, what's that supposed to mean?

BETAREADER: You read all those stories?

AUTHOR: Yes and they're fantast………

BETAREADER: Read the author notes too?

AUTHOR: Yes.

BETAREADER: 'Me Lud', the defence rests its case.

AUTHOR: BETAREADER, that's a very unfriendly thing to say.

BETAREADER: I'm unfriendly, I'm a Scorpion. Now go on with that story.

Four Tracy brothers were sitting in the lounge when the tranquil silence in the lounge was broken by a beeping sound. On one of the portraits on the wall, the eyes began to blink. It was John's portrait.

BETAREADER: Wait a minute, why John?

AUTHOR: Why John? He's the space monitor, isn't he?

BETAREADER: Is he?

JOHN TRACY: Am I?

AUTHOR: OK, what am I doing wrong now?

BETAREADER: Think, logic dictates that John, who's the middle son btw, is the pilot of TB3.

ALAN TRACY: No, he's not. I am, although I take Scott with me as a rule.

BETAREADER: Shut up, kid. Your elders are talking. AUTHOR, you don't need to be an astronaut to sit in a space station. Even I can do that. You need an astronaut to fly TB3.

ALAN TRACY: Hey, but I'm a astronaut!

BETAREADER: Yes kiddo, you are, but not that experienced like John is. Because you're the youngest, you're the one with the least experience.

AUTHOR: But where does it say that John is TB3's pilot?

BETAREADER: Logic, dear AUTHOR, logic! Scott-TB1, Virgil-TB2, John-TB3, Gordon-TB4 and Alan-TB5.

AUTHOR: And pray, tell me my dear, why is John forever cooped up in TB5 then?

JOHN TRACY: That's what I like to know too.

BETAREADER: I can't tell you that.

JOHN TRACY: Hey, wait a minute. I think I'm entitled to know why I'm………

BETAREADER: I can't tell you. First, this story is only PG-13 and second I would be sued if I would say it here on this public page.

JOHN TRACY: Yes but………

BETAREADER: Mail me John and I tell you.

JOHN TRACY: Do I have your addy then?

BETAREADER: As soon as AUTHOR writes that you have it, you will.

VIRGIL TRACY: Hey, that order in which we are named……… Does that mean that I'm the second eldest and John the middle one?

BETAREADER: YES! OF COURSE!! No doubt about it.

VIRGIL TRACY: Really?

BETAREADER: Really!

VIRGIL TRACY: Phew, what a relief. You don't know how disconcerting it is not to know for sure. I mean, with every new story John and I have to wait to find out what our place in this family is.

JOHN TRACY: Yes, it makes me feel as if I have multiple personality disorder.

BETAREADER: No honey, just middle child syndrome.

SCOTT TRACY: OK, so that's sorted out. Now, who's in the space station?

AUTHOR: Alan is. 

ALAN TRACY: Now wait a minute, why me?

AUTHOR: Because John got a cuter ass than you do and I can see it better if he's down here.

JOHN TRACY: Uhm………thanks………I think………

Alan looked angry when he gave the particulars of the rescue call.

"A sailing yacht is in trouble in the South Pacific. It's sinking, there's a hurricane approaching them and the only person aboard it who knows anything about sailing was knocked out by the boom."

"OK," said Scott, "Can you tell us their pos………"

BETAREADER: AUTHOR, hey AUTHOR! AAAUUUTHOOOORRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AUTHOR: OMG!! What is it this time?

BETAREADER: Where's Jeff?

AUTHOR: I got rid of Jeff, for a change, OK!?!?

BETAREADER: Oh OK, just a question.

"OK," said Scott, "Can you tell us their position?" 

**_"No Scott, sorry but they weren't on the air long enough to get a fix. Roughly saying it's 1000 miles southwest of Norfolk Island."_**

****

****

BETAREADER: AUTHOR, hey AUTHOR! AAAUUUTHOOOORRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AUTHOR: *Sighs* What??

BETAREADER: A 1000 miles southwest of Norfolk Island?

AUTHOR: Yes, something like that. Why?

BETAREADER: A 1000 miles southwest of Norfolk Island, that's smack in the middle of Australia's east coast.

AUTHOR: Well, how can I know that? I live at the other end of the world.

BETAREADER: Research AUTHOR, research. Look in an atlas, check the Internet. Spell check!!

AUTHOR: You have a bee in your bonnet about that spell check, haven't you?

BETAREADER: Yes I have! You wouldn't believe the amount of bad spelling that goes on around this site. Some quite funny mind you.

SCOTT TRACY: Excuse me. This is all very interesting, but could we go on with that rescue thing?

Authors notes: So what do you all think of this so far? Shall I continue? Or do I have to crawl back under the stone I came from?

Beta reader's notes: Stop sucking up to your readers. If you have any. Which I doubt. And it would help if an author would listen to his or hers Beta. 

Authors notes: And when did I NOT listen to you? You've ruined this story!

Beta reader's notes: Oh no! You did that all by yourself. People, I did my best, don't look at me if you don't like this story.


	2. Chapter 2

(Disclaimer: All Thunderbirds characters are the property of ITC and licensed by Carlton International Inc.; all rights reserved.)

Beta reader's notes: All grammar, spelling and typing errors are noted by me but ignored by the author.

Authors notes: All grammar, spelling and typing errors are intentional.

Beta reader's notes: All grammar, spelling and typing errors are therefore not funny!!

**_Chapter 2._**

AUTHOR: *Sighs dreamily* Only moments after I posted that first chapter I had a review.

BETAREADER: Can't imagine why! That must've been a very kind person.

AUTHOR: Oh yes! And the day after I got more reviews.

BETAREADER: More kind people. Mind you, they ARE a friendly lot on FFNet. Every story gets at least one review. I can recognize those 'I feel sorry for the writer, so I review' reviews instantly.

AUTHOR: Oh yeah?

BETAREADER: Yeah! They go mostly like this: 'Interesting story so far. I'm curious to see where it will lead.' And sometimes some spelling errors are mentioned and the advice is given to find a beta reader.

AUTHOR: Well, I got only positive reviews. Most people found my story funny.

BETAREADER:*Snorts.* Your typing errors must be funny. I should read that first chapter very carefully if I was you.

Scott lounged lazily in a chair on the balcony overlooking the pool……… 

VIRGIL TRACY: Scott!! Shouldn't we go out to that boat?

SCOTT TRACY: As long as AUTHOR and BETAREADER haven't decided where that ship is, there is not much use in going out. Hey Alan, what are you doing here?

ALAN TRACY: I don't know. I was up in the in the satellite minding my own, about to take a leak, when suddenly I was down here again. 

GORDON TRACY: Lets be grateful you didn't come here WHILE you're taking a leak!!

BETAREADER: AUTHOR, hey AUTHOR! AAAUUUTHOOOORRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AUTHOR: Yes BETAREADER?

BETAREADER: Is that an example of Gordon's sense of humour?

AUTHOR: Yes, I'm always in stitches with that guy. He's sooooooooo funny.

BETAREADER: He is? You have an example of Gordon's fun?

AUTHOR: Oh lots, there's were he tells that repairing the Fireflash was as easy as fixing a fuse.

BETAREADER: Oh yes, that's funny! Yeah, every time I have an electrician in my house I'm hysterical. Nothing funnier than fixing a fuse.

AUTHOR: And when he tells Virgil that Eddie Houseman is almost as handsome as Virgil is.

BETAREADER: That's not funny, that's an insult. Eddie, a guy with the sex appeal of chopped liver would be almost as handsome as gorgeous, stunning, dazzling, incredible, unbelievable, amazing, mind boggling, wonderful, marvellous, spectacular, magnificent, glorious, splendid, attractive good-looking handsome Virgie?

AUTHOR: BETAREADER? BETA? Are you OK?

BETAREADER: Oh sorry, I got carried away a bit. Phew!

AUTHOR: BETAREADER, you want something to drink?

BETAREADER: Yes please.

AUTHOR: What do you want?

BETAREADER: I want a 'screaming orgasm'.

SCOTT TRACY: Oh, I would like to have one too!

AUTHOR: BETAREADER is ordering a cocktail, Scott.

SCOTT TRACY: Meep. No laying then?

AUTHOR: Oh, what the heck……… I write this story, don't I?

SCOTT TRACY: Ooohhhhhhhhh. Yes……… at last!

**Scott wrapped his arm around the lovely, beautiful Marye-Kathrinne. Her violet eyes sparkled as she returned his kiss. He wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her even closer.**

**"Oh Marye-Kathrinne", he gasped wrapping his arm around her as he felt his………**

BETAREADER: AUTHOR, hey AUTHOR! AAAUUUTHOOOORRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SCOTT TRACY: Oh darn.

AUTHOR: Yes BETAREADER?

BETAREADER: That is three arms, AUTHOR.

AUTHOR: Huh?

MARYE-KATHRINNE: Scotty muffin-poo, who are this people?

SCOTT TRACY: Hush, Marye-Kathrinne.

BETAREADER: You had Scott wrap three arms around that woman and what kind of a name is that anyway?

AUTHOR: Marye-Kathrinne? Well, she is a beautiful woman who………

BETAREADER: ………washed up on the shores of Tracy Island? I get the picture. Jeez, there must be a special current out there in the ocean. Can she sing?

AUTHOR: Oh yes, she has a beautiful singing voice and………

BETAREADER: ………she had a very dramatic life so far. Any scars?

AUTHOR: Scars? Yes, from that time she single-handed saved the crew of that moon base, when all other rescuers had failed.

BETAREADER: Oh never mind. OK, beautiful physique, violet eyes, lovely singing voice, unusual name, traumatic history, excels at everything she turns her hand to, hmm. 

SCOTT TRACY: Can't say I noticed that last one.

BETAREADER: Scott!! PG-13 remember! And Scott falls in love with her?

AUTHOR: Yes.

BETAREADER: Scott falls in love with a woman who calls him muffin-poo?

AUTHOR: Yes, and Jeff too.

BETAREADER: Jeff calls Scott muffin-poo??

AUTHOR: No silly, Jeff falls in love with Marye-Kathrinne. But she turns out to be his………

BETAREADER: ………wife, daughter, cousin, niece, aunt, mother……… This is SO Mary-Sue. On a scale from zero to ten, this is thirteen. I've got to ask if I can put some links to Mary-Sue litmus test sites here. 

AUTHOR: But why is a Mary-Sue so bad?

BETAREADER: They're not bad, they're irritating. We don't like to see a person who is so perfect she makes you want to throw up. We don't like to see a person who can do everything better. We don't like to see a person who can repaint the Sistine Chapel in one hour, prepare a six-course dinner for two dozen persons and save Scott's pretty behind, all at once. We don't like to see a person who everybody falls in love with. In fact, the only person who likes a Mary-Sue is the writer, because the Mary-Sue IS the writer or who the writer WANTS to be. Aarrgghh.

You know what? Get on with that story. A boat is sinking, the guys have gone out there and Scott's giving orders.

**_"What's you're ETA, Virgil?"_**

**_"4 point 5 minutes, Scott."_**

**_"FAB Virg, make it snappy."_**

****

BETAREADER: Hey AUTHOR, nobody talks like that, you know.

**_"4 and half minutes, Scott."  
"FAB Virg, make it snappy."_**

BETAREADER: AUTHOR, less rescue time would make it more dramatic.

AUTHOR: Yes, I think you're right.

**_"40 minutes, Scott."_**

**_"FAB Virg, make it snappy."_**

BETAREADER: No, no, no, TB2 isn't that slow!

**_"18 minutes, Scott."_**

**_"JESUS! VIRG!! Make up your mind, will you."_**

**_"Damnit, I can't help it, Scott. It's that f**cking Author. And stop telling me to make it snappy."_**

****

BETAREADER: And another thing. They are swearing too much. Think of the younger readers and those who object to swearing.

AUTHOR, Scott and Virgil Tracy: &@!@@###&*&^&%%%&&&((*(@(*&^^%@%&*()

BETAREADER: Oh.

**_"I've arrived at the danger zone, Scott. Now what's the action?"_**

**_"Great Virg, now that storm is approaching fast, so we have to be quick about this. Drop the pod._**

**_"FAB, Scott. Dropping pod………now."_**__

GORDON TRACY: Hey AUTHOR, wouldn't have been more logical if I had been in TB4 before you let Virgil drop it?

AUTHOR: Tee hee!! See how funny Gordon is. 'Wouldn't have been more logical if I had been in TB4.'

BETAREADER: What happened?

GORDON TRACY: AUTHOR made Virgil drop the pod before I had time to go to TB4.

BETAREADER: OMG!!

VIRGIL TRACY: I don't get it.

AUTHOR: I know that! Don't worry, Virg honey, it'll be all right.

BETAREADER: Hey, what's with the 'lets treat Virgil as if he's a simpleton'?

AUTHOR: Well he is, isn't he? He's always asking things like 'what's the action then?' and 'what are we going to do?'

VIRGIL TRACY: *smiles foolishly.*

BETAREADER: That's not because he's a moron.

VIRGIL TRACY:*looks surprised.* I'm not?__

BETAREADER: He's an extremely intelligent guy. He knows that there has to be a chain of command when they're on a mission. And that Scott is the 'field commander' and that you can't get into an argument in the middle of a rescue. In fact, he's the one who supports Scott by being the only one who's always following orders.

VIRGIL TRACY: Oh Scott, what a relief to be treated like the intelligent guy I am.

AUTHOR: But he has this tendency to inane chatter, doesn't he?

BETAREADER: Yes, darn, he has.

VIRGIL TRACY: *Closes his mouth tight.*

Authors notes: I hope they like this chapter too.

Beta reader's notes: Promise me: Just one negative review and this story stops. Period!__


End file.
